Crossposted from comrade Jordan’s Cuba Delegation Reflections series.
My first Pride was a magical experience.
I grew up in the small town of Tacoma, Washington, which was only just beginning to host its own pride events at the park. I went to my grandma’s house so my parents wouldn’t see me preparing my outfit: a white shirt emblazoned with the word “FAGGOT” in big black letters and a pair of underwear. I didn’t know anything about Marsha P. Johnson or Stonewall, but I instinctively understood that Pride was about resistance. What I found at that event was a feeling of freedom and a sense of community that did not exist anywhere else in my world. *Shout out to Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, the main queer presence in town.*
Later, I’d start going to the much bigger Seattle Pride an hour away. I only needed to scrape up enough change for the bus ride and throw $5 on a bottle with my friends. The euphoria I felt entering that space…
You have to understand that as a gay person who doesn’t live in San Francisco or West Hollywood, everywhere you go is straight by default. Every classroom, every party, every book, every movie, every bar. It’s just you, the gay one, navigating a cis-hetero room every time. If there’s one other gay there, it’s this whole thing and you have to decide if you’re going to get married or be besties. Because we’re all we have here.
But arriving at Seattle’s vast borderless festival full of thousands of people just like me… And realizing it’s ALL OF US?? ALL OF US ARE QUEER? And not just queer, but celebrating our queerness in the loudest possible ways!? It was magical.
Then, I moved to LA.
The ticket prices were astronomical. There were TICKETS at all!
Not tickets for special events, mind you. The main event – Pride itself – has a massive paywall complete with physical walls erected to exclude the poor.
“But there’s the parade, the parade is free!” hark the elected officials.
At least we have the parade, right?
Right?
The parade is led by a legion of the most violent and queerphobic police in the country. LASD is known for being a network of violent gangs that murder civilians for initiation and have tattoos to mark their affiliation. LAPD has killed more people than any other police department in the country. They brutalize trans people all the time, even at Pride events.
Their Terrormobiles are adorned with fresh rainbow wraps that will be ripped away immediately after the event, funded with the tax dollars of their victims.
Snake politicians on campaign floats contort their mouths into fanged smiles – strategically waving to each camera – elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist, wipe a tear, blow a kiss. They’ve already legislated away our housing, living wages, healthcare, and protection.
Then there’s the corporations. You know, the very same corporations that funded campaigns causing over 500 anti-LGBTQ state bills to be introduced this year. A Bank of America float blasts a Beyonce song to drown out the roaring wildfires it’s causing behind us. Flamboyantly dressed marchers carry a Raytheon banner – the weapons manufacturer who bombs civilian neighborhoods around the world. I try not to puke.
LA’s billionaire parasite class has slaughtered Pride and now hosts this sick display each year to piss on its grave. To spit in our faces at its wake and steal another round of our lunch money while we’re there.
For me, Pride season has become a time of mourning.
Denial
There is no more Pride. Whatever this is, it’s not Pride.
Anger
How dare they. How dare they make this into some kind of Coachella. How dare they bring any police at all. To this day they are still carrying out raids in areas where gay men cruise!
Bargaining
Maybe if I become rich enough, I too can look past this bastardization and just enjoy it. I can travel to places that have real Prides. If I can just…
Depression
No gay bar or scene is worth going to at any time at this point. The entire queer culture has been reduced to alcoholism, yassified eating disorders, and nameless fucks from cold virtual grids.
Acceptance
I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept. Co-opted Prides shall feel their roots of resistance once again!
And that’s the only way I’ve begun participating. Through resistance.
A note about what Pride actually is:
The last time it was illegal to be gay or trans was only a few generations back. All our spaces were underground, with unmarked doors in illegal clubs run by the mafia. It was dangerous. Police would raid the bars, beat everyone up, force inspect your genitals and take you to jail.
One of the times this happened, the people fought back. It was a battle with Black trans women and others throwing bricks at cops and de-arresting each other. It sparked a movement for queer liberation – to be free from capitalism which causes sexual and gender oppression in the first place.
It was never about marriage. ABOLISH MARRIAGE!
Queer families formed in so many different ways – our chosen families never needed validation from the state. We formed “Houses” in the ballroom scene with “House Mothers”. We had fluid polyamorous relationships with multiple people. Queers had moved beyond nuclear family structures.
It wasn’t until cis white high-income able-bodied gay men with abs and politics that protected their privilege swooped in to co-opt this movement in the 90s that it suddenly had messaging about marriage. Rather than liberate the community, they wanted only to assimilate it. To become part of the oppressive system. To become the oppressor – the capitalist.
Pride in Cuba
During my delegation to Cuba, we attended the Conga Against Homophobia and Transphobia. It was truly a Pride for and by the people. There were exactly 0 cops, even though I was told there would be “brutal repression.” There were no politicians on floats. No corporations advertising.
It was just the LGBTQIA+ community marching deliberately in an effort to normalize their existence in society – to change hearts and minds. Because they have already changed the laws.
A celebration of our existence followed with a focus on the triumph of the new world-renowned Family Codes. Chants revolved around “Love is the law” because, in Cuba, it is. The people came together last year and wrote a new 80-page amendment to their constitution that massively expands the rights for all kinds of families and codifies queer rights forever.
Family Codes are not just some marriage act
Western media reduces this groundbreaking legislation to gay marriage, but the truth is that’s only an afterthought compared to the vast implications. Here are 10 features, but this won’t even scrape the surface.
- Children are no longer property. Family members have responsibility for rather than custody of kids. Children are empowered with weighted voices in all legal conflicts and Defenders of Family – teams of experts that they can go to who act on their behalf.
- In addition to LGBTQ issues being institutionalized throughout Cuba’s education system, parents have a responsibility to teach about identity and sexuality at home.
- Parents are legally required to respect the identity of their children.
- Blood relation does not make you a parent, only the will to be a parent.
- Anyone can form a family and have the full rights that come with it. The definition of family is based on long-term care and love. You can get married, or not.
- Name changes are free and only require you to prove it’s the name you go by.
- All gender-affirming care is free and available on demand.
- All punishments are enhanced for gender-based violence.
- In stark contrast to the U.S., there is a clause in the Cuban constitution that says these rights can NEVER BE ROLLED BACK.
The freedom that queer people experience in Cuba is like nothing I’ve ever known in this country. It’s not the comfort of a secluded “safe space” where the rest of society is less likely to attack. It’s not the overstimulation of gluttonous parties designed to generate as much profit as possible. Queer activists I spoke with from Mass Organizations representing each part of the spectrum told me how they are integrated into all of society and not seeking to create sectioned-off spaces. Like all Cubans, their freedom comes from the revolution. It’s freed them from rent, student debt, healthcare costs, and unemployment. They are free from the system that needs rigid binaries and oppressed classes, allowing a march forward into new levels of human rights.
The one thing that is stifling progress for them, for us, and for the world is the United States government. May we see an end to the sanctions, lies, blockades, and bombs before it’s too late.
Happy Pride
References
The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
LASD Violently Arrest Transgender Woman in West Hollywood (knock-la.com)
Video Contradicts L.A. Sheriff’s Account of Trans Activist Arrest – Rolling Stone
Pride sponsors also donate to lawmakers behind anti-LGBTQ+ bills (19thnews.org)
650+ anti-LGBTQ bills introduced in ‘disturbing new era of attacks’ (usatoday.com)
“Our armies are rising:” Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson – Liberation School
Cuba passes historic new Family Code in nationwide referendum (therealnews.com)
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